The dogs and I are starting a
GoFundMe campaign to raise five billion dollars. We have a pretty big purchase
in mind.
We’re going to buy the Congress
of the United States.
Get your credit cards out and
start making your legislative wish lists, as the dogs and I plan to purchase one
of America’s three branches of government on this episode of I’m Not Allowed To
Watch The News.
In the early days of the American Republic, Alexander Hamilton, the first Secretary of the Treasury, argued that a certain amount of national debt was a good thing. There was no way a country that was four days old was going to be able to raise the tax revenue it needed to pay the president or build a navy or anything like that. So it had to borrow. Probably from the Dutch. During the American Revolution, the French sent ships, the Dutch sent money, and Belgium sat the whole thing out, too busy perfecting their chocolate recipe to help establish the world’s first republican-style democracy or support freedom from tyranny. Just you wait, Belgium. You’ll get what’s coming to you. America started borrowing money while the ink was still wet on the Declaration of Independence, but that was to serve the British Empire with its eviction notice from the colonies. Once the Constitution was ratified, we needed cash to fund laws like the one calling for lighthouses to be built along the coast, an
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