I'm Not Allowed To Watch The News

It’s December, 1777. General George Washington stops his horse on the side of the road to watch his army march past. “March” is a loose term for what the soldiers were actually doing. Many didn’t have proper shoes. Most didn’t have coats or blankets. Many had to be supported by their comrades as they walked. The enemy—the British Army and Navy—had taken the capital of Philadelphia and sent the Continental Congress into exile. These Congressmen weren’t the heavy hitters of 1776—John Adams and Benjamin Franklin were in Europe desperately trying to get loans and alliances. Thomas Jefferson and John Hancock had gone home. The ones who were left were unable to raise money or keep the army supplied. Their priorities were foreign money and foreign alliances—not the army. And once the British drove them from the capital, their priorities narrowed down to their own survival. Washington had 11,000 men left, and they had spent most of the year getting beaten by the British. Their enlistments were...

 There are two ways to elect the President in this country. Well, only one that matters.  I warned you all in our first episode that I have been a lifelong holder of unpopular opinions, so here’s one.  It’s time to eliminate the Electoral College.  I take on one of my favorite Founding Fathers as the dogs and I open the metaphorical hood of the United States Constitution so we can tinker with America’s metaphorical engine one more time (and probably not for the last time) on this episode of I’m Not Allowed To Watch The News.

America’s wisest old man was writing his last will and testament. Benjamin Franklin had followed his own life advice and been frugal with his money, unlike some of the more debt-ridden big spenders of the Revolutionary generation like Thomas Jefferson, who asked the state of Virginia to let him conduct a lottery in order to pay off his $170,000 in debt, which would be about two million dollars today. And this in spite of his free labor force and a number of high-paying government jobs. He had plenty of people to leave his fortune to – his son William Franklin, former royal governor of New Jersey. His grandson, Temple Franklin, who had been Ben’s secretary during the negotiations with France that got the colonies some much-needed assistance with that whole “give the British a whuppin’” thing. Sally Bache, his daughter. Benjamin Bache, Sally’s son. Or even his sister Jane Franklin. Everyone in the family got a little something. William got debt-forgiveness for all the money he had borrow...

I served on a jury once, and if that makes you doubt both the stability and effectiveness of the American justice system, well, just imagine how I felt when I got the summons. But I have to say the experience went pretty well, and justice (I think) was served by twelve random people and two alternates who definitely jumped in the jury pool with preconceived notions about the case. Justice was most definitely not served by Phil from the hardware store, but I’ll get to him soon enough. The relevant point for today’s episode is that the whole experience gave me a great idea for a way to change the way America chooses its representatives, crafts legislation, and makes laws. The dogs and I once again raise America’s proverbial hood and tinker with the metaphorical engine that is our governing document on this episode of I’m Not Allowed To Watch The News. Episode 8

In the early days of the American Republic, Alexander Hamilton, the first Secretary of the Treasury, argued that a certain amount of national debt was a good thing. There was no way a country that was four days old was going to be able to raise the tax revenue it needed to pay the president or build a navy or anything like that. So it had to borrow. Probably from the Dutch. During the American Revolution, the French sent ships, the Dutch sent money, and Belgium sat the whole thing out, too busy perfecting their chocolate recipe to help establish the world’s first republican-style democracy or support freedom from tyranny. Just you wait, Belgium. You’ll get what’s coming to you. America started borrowing money while the ink was still wet on the Declaration of Independence, but that was to serve the British Empire with its eviction notice from the colonies. Once the Constitution was ratified, we needed cash to fund laws like the one calling for lighthouses to be built along the coast, an...

Do you ever think about why you vote for a particular political party? Maybe you’re a Democrat because you really love the way that James K. Polk got us Texas, California, and Oregon in the 1840’s, despite the objections of Abraham Lincoln. Maybe you’re a Republican because you think Abraham Lincoln was right to oppose the deal, even if it means we don’t get to keep Oregon. Sorry, Oregon. You might be a Republican because your great-grandpappy has been one since that time William Howard Taft got stuck in the White House bathtub in 1911. You might be a Democrat because your grandma swooned over that dreamy John F. Kennedy when he nearly ran for Vice President in 1956. Maybe you want to vote for a party that says they’ll do something about climate change, healthcare, student loan debt, and get you a discount on an electric car or solar panels. Maybe you want to vote for a party that says they’ll do something about abortion rates, tax rates, immigration, and get you a discount on your ann...