It’s 2025 and we’ve had another presidential election. One third of the country is in despair about it, a third is uncomfortably wondering what genie they let out of the bottle, another third is blindly, blissfully joyful, and I’m still not allowed to watch the news. The dogs, in case you’re wondering, are fine with it. All pets are Communists. They provide no output other than unconditional love and disgusting things I have to bag up and throw away. They live free off the state (which in this case is me and Mrs. I’m Not Allowed to Watch The News) and are unaffected by distant regime change. Since we’re not dogs, it’s time to face some unpleasant truths about America and start focusing on what’s next instead of what happened. It’s actually the American Way, if you think about it. We get our heads out of our asses, quit our bitching, and figure out the best way to serve the cause of the United States of America on this episode of I’m Not Allowed to Watch the News. Help us out: ...